Webcomic #020c: Non Sequitur

The Ex-Vampire Lord (who's now human) stands with his loyal zombies (who are still zombies).  The Vampire Lady and her vampire minions soon arrive.  The Ex-Vampire Lord speaks:

"Stupid sexy Lieutenant Commander Worf."

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Webcomic #019c: Whoa

During the meeting of vampires and reptilian humanoids, the Vampire Lady disrobes.

"Woah," says the middle-management reptilian humanoid.

"What did you say?" angrily asks the Vampire Lady, transforming into a furry demonoid.  She orders her bat demon vampires to kill the reptiles.  "It's 'whoa'.  Get it right."

"Duly noted," replies the disembodied head of the middle-management reptilian humanoid.

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Webcomic #018c: Loaded Words

"Some words are just too loaded to be useful any more," laments Justine the Revenant."Case in point:  'Liberal' and 'conservative'."  Continuing her politically-minded rant, pertaining mostly to the United States:  "There are way too many nuanced definitions, historical implications, and divisive opinions to consider."

"If you want limited action from city hall and like the culture of your neighborhood, what does that make you?"  I'd say some sort of local conservative or libertarian.

"At the same time, if you like the social programs and policies of your state government, what does that make you?"  I'd say either a state liberal and/or a states' rights conservative.  Or you might be something else along the political spectrum, depending on the programs and policies.  Wow, this is getting a little tricky.

"To add, if you like to have a moderately-powerful federal government, one that acts sparingly to help the country as a whole or to stop a state from being douchy - like segregation douchy - what does that make you?"  I'd say some sort of moderate, perhaps?

"I'm pretty sure that makes you someone who thinks too hard about these things," sarcastically answers the Silver Werewolf.

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Webcomic #017c: Phonics Rant

"I'm told that that the letter 'y' is officially a vowel when it acts like a vowel," says the Vampire Lady.  "I had previously thought that 'y' was always a consonant that pretended to be a vowel when needed."
"Yes, my lady," says the middle-management reptilian humanoid (wearing a purple bathrobe).  "'W' is also a vowel sometimes."

"That is total B.S.!" she outbursts.  "In Wheel of Fortune, you spin to guess if there's a 'y' - they never let you buy a 'y'!  Hence, 'y' is a consonant."  To conclude her rant, she says, "I trust Pat Sajak and Vanna White in these matters."  Remembering what the reptile also said, she asks, "Wait, 'w'?"

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Webcomic #016c: The Mark of Leadership

The Silver Werewolf throws a tantrum about something (relevant to the actual vague storyline of werewolves versus undead ghouls and whatnot).

"I find that effective leaders are always zen about everything," admonishes Pastor Reptilian.  "Throwing hissy fits is the mark of a beta-plus, tops, and not an alpha."

The reptilian humanoid takes a slow sip from his glass of Scotch.  "True leaders are smooth and delicious."

"Are we still talking about people here?" interrupts Justine the Revenant.

"No, silly girl. I'm talking about Scotch whisky."

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Webcomic #020b: What's My Age Again?

"When I'm buying booze, if you need to card me, card me.  Don't ask for my age," advises the Ex-Vampire Lord, who also happens to be the only Human-Human (who used to be a vampire) on Earth.  "I don't remember my age."

The zombies around him say nothing.

"I have to do 2nd grade subtraction to figure out my age," the man (wearing sunglasses at night) continues.  "I am no longer good at math, and my cell phone's calculator is too hard to use."

"So...how old are you?" asks the Vampire Lady, in bat demon form, descending from the night sky.

Pulling out his wallet, the rather slick Ex-Vampire Lord answers, "Look at my driver's license.  I'm on the big boy side of the card."

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Webcomic #019b: Hive Mind 2.0

"All these social networking my-sites, me-sites, you-sites, and i-gadgets amount to one thing:  They want us to become a collectivist hive mind," hypothesizes the Vampire Lady.  (I don't know who 'they' are.)  "Ironically, they use 'individuality' to market their scheme."

"That's, like, two things," protests the raven-haired female bat demon vampire.

"Quiet, you!"

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Webcomic #018b: War Machines

"War should be waged by robots," says a semi-pacifist Silver Werewolf.  "But they should be maintained by people."

Neither Pastor Reptilian nor Justine the Revenant say anything.

"These mechanics not only need to be experts at robot maintenance," he muses, "they need to have complete combat training, too."  His reasoning:  "'Cause someone needs to stop the robot warriors when they go bad."

The Ex-Vampire Lord stalks the trio.  No one responds to the werewolf.

"Trust me; they will go bad," warns the wolf.

Comments are closed, but you can reach the author on Twitter:  @DeRamosMedia (please follow!).

Webcomic #017b: Destroying the Evidence

"What's the deal with biodegradable, cutting-edge technology?" asks the Vampire Lady.

"It's good for the environment," responds the middle-management reptilian humanoid.

"When evolved dolphin archaeologists find remnants of our civilization, they'll think that we peaked during the 1990s," predicts the vampiress.  "It's kind of embarrassing."

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Webcomic #016b: Werewolf Haiku

 "Hey, what year is this?" asks the Silver Werewolf.  "Painting in my underwear, drinking Black Label."

"Nice kinda-sorta haiku," says Justine the Revenant, referring to the werewolf's five-seven-five poetic form.

"What's a haiku?" howls the wolf.

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Webcomic #020a: Lakers vs. Thunder

The Ex-Vampire Lord announces: "For the first round of the NBA Playoffs, the Los Angeles Lakers will play against the Oklahoma City..."  He forgets the name of the opposing team.  "Bombers?"

"Uh...Thunder," corrects the hospital gown zombie.

"Was anyone offended by my reference to domestic terrorism?" asks the new Last Human-Human on Earth.

"We were offended," replies the Vampire Lady, swooping in with her bat demon minions.

"Brainnn...!!!" say the also-offended zombies.

"Then I shall hold a press conference sometime next week to publicly apologize," decrees the Ex-Vampire Lord.  "Then I'll go to some sort of bad joke rehab."

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Webcomic #019a: The MacGuffin

"I am not a fan of the ambiguous MacGuffin plot device," complains an unclothed Vampire Lady to an audience of reptilian humanoids.  "Tell us what's in the box, bag, or briefcase already!" she screams, transforming into a furry demon.  As her bat demon vampire female minions devour the reptilians, she proposes a caveat:  "Just make sure it's not stupid."

"Word," says the blonde bat demon.

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Webcomic #018a: 'Lost' Recap

"Last night's episode of Lost was awesome!" exclaims the Silver Werewolf to his reptilian and revenant companions.  (I think we're establishing that Justine is no longer the last human-human on Earth, but is now some sort of revenant, like The Crow.  The Vampire Lord who sucked all her blood is now the last human-human on Earth.  He's now the Ex-Vampire Lord, but secretive of his condition.)

"Spoilers ahead!" warns the wolf.  "Ilana blows up.  But I was eating chips and bean dip at the time, so I wasn't shocked.  Smokey 'Locke' throws Island Desmond down a well.  The bean dip was layered with guacamole.  Sideways Desmond runs over Teacher Locke.  Oh, it also had sour cream.  Hurley finally gets some Libby lovin'," he summarizes.

"Implied Libby lovin'," he clarifies, since they didn't get gratuitous during the episode.  "With shredded cheese," going back to the multi-layered bean dip.  (If you don't watch the show, this rant is half-meaningless.  If you don't eat multi-layered bean dip, this rant is totally meaningless.)

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Webcomic #017a: Time Traveler's Cheques

"If you ever find yourself in the past, make sure the cash you have was produced on or before that date," advises the Vampire Lady.

"Word," says the blonde bat demon vampiress.

"I don't understand," replies the middle-management reptilian humanoid.

"The redesigned and recolored bills from last decade would not be accepted in the 20th century," explains the Vampire Lady.  "Just sayin'."

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Webcomic #016a: Vaderberg Trials

The Silver Werewolf and Pastor Reptilian are drinking Scotch in Scotland.

"You know, had Darth Vader survived Return of the Jedi, he would have been tried for war crimes," suggests the reptilian humanoid.  "They would have hanged him for sure."

"I'm pretty sure they would have forced him to force choke himself to death," says the werewolf.

"Okay, boys..." interrupts Justine the Revenant.  "That's enough nerdery for today."

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NEW! Webcomic #020

Apparently, this is a corporeal undead party - except that the Ex-Vampire Lord is no longer undead (but he's keeping that a secret).

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NEW! Webcomic #019

It's generally not good news when the Vampire Lady loses her clothes. It's even worse news when she grows some fur clothes (and horns and - not seen - hooves)...at least for the cabal of reptilian humanoids.  We'll have to ask if reptilian humanoid tastes like chicken.

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NEW! Webcomic #018

Justine (the Revenant?) apparently explains why she did what she did (shoot the Silver Werewolf and let the Vampire Lord suck her blood) in a flashback.  For some reason, the now Ex-Vampire Lord is stalking our trio of heroes.

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NEW! Webcomic #017

We finally get to see other reptilian humanoids and other vampires, but what are they conspiring?

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NEW! Webcomic #016

...and we're back.  So is Justine, but is she a human, a zombie, a vampire, a revenant, or something else?

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