"Was that an episode of Lost or an episode of The Beastmaster?" complains the Vampire Lady. She's referring to the episode "Across the Sea," which features Jacob, his nameless brother (who SPOILER ALERT! becomes the Smoke Monster), and their equally-nameless adoptive mother--in Latin-speaking ancient times on The Island. In any case, it isn't "The Constant." This episode verges on Highlander II territory, where the badass sword-fighting Immortals aren't mysteriously mystical beings but aliens from the planet Zeist.
"The Beastmaster?" asks the middle-management reptilian humanoid. We should give the reptile a name, like "Smokey." There. We'll call him Smokey the Middle-Management Reptilian Humanoid (or some shortened version) from now on. We can thank the still-nameless Smoke Monster on Lost for that.
"You know, late nineties, early 2000's, naked dude with his ferrets, with random appearances by the original eighties Beastmaster," explains the vampiress. The Beastmaster's name is Dar, by the way.
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