"I am disappointed that I cannot participate in Doppelgänger Week on Facebook," laments the Vampire Lord. "I look like nobody, and face-matching software does not help me at all." He goes on to describe his attempts to find a more famous twin:
"One photo matched Danny Glover, Terrence Howard, Matthew Lillard, Al Pacino, and Gillian Anderson." Well, that's diverse.
"Another photo matched The Rock, Bill Cosby, John & Yoko's son Sean Lennon, Helena Christiansen, Tiger Woods, Brittany Murphy, and Rudyard Kipling." That's even more varied. Then again, the Vampire Lord has the power to shape shift to some degree.
"Then it said I look like Luc Besson, cult leader Shoko Asahara, Sophie Marceau, Saddam Hussein, and Martin Luther King, Jr." You might want to Google or Wikipedia some of the names mentioned above, and hopefully I spelled all the names correctly. "Seriously, what the hell?" the Vampire asks, bordering on despair.
"You know what they say: You are what you suck," consoles the Vampire Lady. "That's what she said," she says.
You can totally wear this scene (without the small talk):
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