Monday, November 30, 2009

Webcomic #009a: Help Wanted?


With the light of the full moon, the hunt begins.  Justine and her band of werewolf heroes have gathered inside the Kīlauea volcano, to do battle with the increasingly powerful Vampire Lady.   Where could she be?

"Justine and I will look here," says Silver Wolf, splitting up the band.

Not surprised, Red Wolf apathetically answers, "Whatever, dude."

Lamenting the fact that Silver likes spending more time with the Last Human-Human on Earth than his werewolf bros, Dishwater-Blond Wolf says, "Silver is no longer fun."

"I hear that!" exclaims Red.

"I need some...help," states a nude female sitting on lava rocks.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sneak Peek Sunday: Webcomic #009


Remember, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.  This is especially true if you ever find an unclothed Vampire Lady inside the Kīlauea volcano.  She'll probably turn into a wolf and whoop your ass.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Another 25 Words in θəwəməθy (DeRamosh), a #NewLanguage

We're using the Swadesh list to come up with the first 207 words or so in DeRamosh.  Before we start, here are the letters of this new language's alphabet:  ə θ w y m (þ k).

ə = All vowels are schwas.
θ = th sound.
w = w sound.
y = consonant-y sound.
m = m sound.

þ = Plosives are rarely used (only for curse words); spit.
Hard consonants, like k, are currently in limbo.

Without further ado, the next 25 words:

  1. mouth = məwəθ /moh-uhth/
  2. tooth = θəwəθ /thoh-uhth/
  3. tongue = θəmyə /thuhm-yuh/
  4. fingernail = wəmyəwməw /wuhm-yoh-moh/
  5. foot = wəəθ /wuh-uhth/
  6. leg = wəyəθ /wuh-yuhth/
  7. knee = yəməə /yuh-muh-uh/
  8. hand = yəmθ /yuhmth/
  9. wing = wəmyəθ /wuhm-yuhth/
  10. belly = wəmə /wuhm-uh/
  11. guts = yəθ /yuhth/
  12. neck = θwəθ /thwuhth/
  13. back = wəθəwəəw /wuh-thoh-uh-oh/
  14. breast = θwəəθ /thwuh-uhth/
  15. heart = yəəwθ /yuh-ohth/
  16. liver = wəwəw /wuh-woh/
  17. drink = θwəm /thwuhm/
  18. eat = əəθ /uh-uhth/
  19. bite = θəwəθəw /thoh-uhth-oh/
  20. suck = θəwəm /thuh-wuhm/
  21. spit = þə /buh/ or /puh/
  22. vomit = wəməθ /wuh-muhth/
  23. blow = yəθəw /yuh-thoh/
  24. breathe = əmyəw /uhm-yoh/
  25. laugh = wəw /woh/

Friday, November 27, 2009

Webcomic #008d: Black Friday


"It has been a long day," sighs the Vampire Lord, in Krampus form.

"Oo," agrees the multilingual Deus ex Webcomica.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!


Little-known fact:  Mayflower is the prequel to the Twilight books and movies.  However, instead of sparkling skin, there was smallpox.  Part of the aforementioned is true.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Webcomic #008c: Thanksgiving Do's and Don't's


"This Thanksgiving, remember to fully cook your turkey. Don't serve it frozen," reminds an oddly domestic Vampire Lady, on this day before Thanksgiving.   To illustrate, the Vampire Lord wears blue.

"Do have pumpkin pie for dessert," she continues.  To illustrate, he wears brown and orange.

"Do drink wine.  Do drink responsibly," she encourages and advises.   To illustrate, he dresses like the Joker.

"Don't overeat," the Vampire Lady warns.  "If you overeat, you will be punished by this visiting Krampus demon."

"I'm on vacation!" exclaims Krampus.

With that, I propose a new Thanksgiving tradition:  Punish the gluttons!  Who am I kidding?  I'm going to overeat, too.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Webcomic #008b: Vampire Lessons


"Now I shall school you in the ways of the Nosferatu," declares the veteran Vampire Lord to virtually newborn Vampire Lady.   "Remember to own lots of clothes.  Autumn colors.  Supervillain colors," he continues, showing his undead student his multicolored wardrobe.  "Also, you can shape shift into almost any monster," he says, turning into a furry thing.  "Any questions?"

"Can I sparkle?" the Vampire Lady asks, referring to a certain other kind of humanoid vampire.

"Never.  To sparkle is forbidden," he warns.  "Blah."

Monday, November 23, 2009

Webcomic #008a: Wardrobe Malfunction


"You're not going out dressed like that, are you?" asks the Vampire Lady to the Vampire Lord.

Baffled by this criticism, the Vampire Lord answers, "What is wrong with what I wear?  My vest matches my shoes.  Blah."

"Team Edward..." she says, trying to kindle the fire of jealousy from her old school vampire companion.

"Okay, I shall change."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sneak Peek Sunday: Webcomic #008


This week, the Vampire Lord is dealing with some identity issues.  He'll likely blame the success of the New Moon movie.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

25 More Words in θəwəməθy (DeRamosh), a #NewLanguage

We're using the Swadesh list to come up with the first 207 words or so in DeRamosh.  Before we start, here are the letters of this new language's alphabet:  ə θ w y m (þ k).

ə = All vowels are schwas.
θ = th sound.
w = w sound.
y = consonant-y sound.
m = m sound.

þ = Plosives are rarely used (only for curse words); spit.
Hard consonants, like k, are currently in limbo.

Without further ado, the next 25 words:

  1. tree = θwəə /thwuh-uh/
  2. forest = wəwəθ /woh-uhth/
  3. stick = θəθθ /thuhth/
  4. fruit = wəwəəθ /wuh-wuh-uhth/
  5. seed = θəəθ /thuh-uhth/
  6. leaf = wəəw /wuh-oh/
  7. root = wəəθ /wuh-uhth/
  8. bark = wəwθ /wohth/
  9. flower = wəwəwəw /woh-oh-oh/ or /wuh-wuh-woh/
  10. grass = yəwəθ /yuh-wuhth/
  11. rope = wəwə /woh-uh/
  12. skin = θəθəm /thuh-thuhm/
  13. meat = məəθ /muh-uhth/
  14. blood = θəmyəm /thuhm-yuhm/
  15. bone = əθəə /uhth-uh-uh/
  16. fat (n.) = wəθ /wuhth/
  17. egg = əwwəm /oh-wuhm/
  18. horn = yəwm /yohm/
  19. tail = θəəw /thuh-oh/
  20. feather = wəθəw /wuh-thoh/
  21. hair = yəəw /yuh-oh/
  22. head = yəθ /yuhth/
  23. ear = əəw /uh-oh/
  24. eye = əyə /uh-yuh/
  25. nose = məθə /muh-thuh/

Friday, November 20, 2009

Webcomic #007e: Book Review: 'Dracula The Un-Dead' by Dacre Stoker and Ian Holt


"Have you finished listening to the audiobook of Dacre Stoker and Ian Holt's Dracula The Undead?" Justine asks the Vampire Lord.

"Blah," he affirms.  "It was interesting at first, but it jumped the shark about halfway through"  The Vampire Lord tries to mix thoughtfulness with snarkiness in his review (possible spoilers ahead!):

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Webcomic #007d: Waiting for 2010


"The Holidays are upon us," Justine states (the obvious).  "Thanksgiving is next week."  (In the United States, that is.)

"Do not remind me," warns a sad Vampire Lord.  "The shows I watch are going on winter hiatus.  Blah," he complains.  "Tonight's episode of 'Supernatural' is the last one until January," he continues to sulk.  "I do not know what to do for the next two months."

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Webcomic #007c: Spell Check


"Did you see the boxing match between Manny Brainnn... and Miguel Brainnn...???" asks the tall zombie, in the midst of their thrashing by the Last Human-Human on Earth.

"It was a good brainnn...!!!" comments the hospital/bridesmaid gown zombie.

"It looks like we've been through 11 1/3 brainnn...!!!" observes an equally bloodied zombie, appropriately wearing boxer shorts.  If you remember, the referee stopped the fight 55 seconds into the 12th round, making the fight last 11 and approximately one-third rounds.

Elsewhere, Justine resigns, "We won't get to speak much tonight."

"Blah," sighs the Vampire Lord.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Webcomic #007b: Dusk / Dawn


After cleaning house with her magical shotgun (and her 1337 skillz), Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth poses a question:  "What's up with this Twilight craze?"

"This conversation is eerily appropriate.  Blah," observes a semi-omni-present Vampire Lord.

Justine further questions the bizarreness of pop culture:  "What's up with people lining up days in advance to watch the film?  Isn't that just for Star Wars nerds?"

The flame-haired zombie chimes in, "Instead of geeky-looking fan-brainnn...," as her ghoulish metamorphosis begins.  She continues, "These lines are full of regular-looking fangirls."  (Okay, there are likely geeky-lookin' fanboys too.)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Webcomic #007a: Makeover


Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth and her Magical Talking Shotgun are cleaning house!  They're wiping the floor with zombie goo.  They're handing the asses of their foes back to them.

"Kick ass!!!" exclaims the shotgun.

"I realize that zombies are useless against you," admits a nearly-defeated Vampire Lord.  Finally, a big bad sees the problem that is the Stormtrooper Effect (look it up!). "Prepare yourself for..."

"Extreme," he says, finding the sole surviving zombie.  "Ghoul," the vampire says while producing a spell on the female zombie.  She's cleaning up nicely thus far.  "Makeover," and with that, the redhead zombie is now a redhead vampire.

This newly-created Vampire Lady replaces her lust for brainnn... with a simple stereotypical, "Blah."  She approaches Justine.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sneak Peek Sunday: Webcomic #007


I like these "Sneak Peek" issues more than the weekday ones with dialogue bubbles.  It's fun to imagine what these illustrated characters say during all this action.  Appropriately enough, that's what I do before typing out the weekday edition of this webcomic, with all the random chit-chat and blog topics.  One day, I would like to see the readers fill in the blanks for these comics, and read what they think is going on here (and there).

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Next 25 Words of θəwəməθy (DeRamosh), a #NewLanguage

We're using the Swadesh list to come up with the first 207 words or so in DeRamosh.  Before we start, here are the letters of this new language's alphabet:  ə þ θ w y m.

ə = All vowels are schwas.
þ = Plosives are rarely used (only for curse words); spit.
θ = th sound.
w = w sound.
y = consonant-y sound.
m = m sound.
No hard consonants, like k.

Without further ado, the next 25 words:

  1. five = θəwwə /thoh-wuh/
  2. big = wəwyə /woh-yuh/
  3. long = wəmyə /wuhm-yuh/
  4. wide = wəθə /wuhth-uh/
  5. thick = θəθə /thuh-thuh/
  6. heavy = yəwəyə /yuh-wuh-yuh/
  7. small = θəww /thoh/
  8. short = θəyəwθ /thuh-yohth/
  9. narrow = məwwəw /moh-woh/
  10. thin = θəm /thuhm/
  11. woman = wəməm /wuh-muhm/
  12. man (adult male) = yəθməm /yuhth-muhm/
  13. Man (human being) = yəməm /yuh-muhm/
  14. child = θəwθməm /thohth-muhm/
  15. wife = wəθ /wuhth/
  16. husband = yəθwəmθ /yuhth-wuhmth/
  17. mother = məθəw /muhth-oh/
  18. father = θəθəw /thuhth-oh/
  19. animal = əməməw /uhm-uhm-oh/
  20. fish = θəθəθ /thuh-thuth/
  21. bird = əwəəm /uh-wuh-uhm/
  22. dog = θəməm /thuh-muhm/
  23. louse = wəwθ /wohth/
  24. snake = θəwθəmθ /thoh-thumth/
  25. worm = wəwm /wohm/

Friday, November 13, 2009

Webcomic #006e: TV?


"Did you watch the latest episode of Brainnn...???" the zombie groom asks his best zombie.

"I haven't watched TV in such a long brainnn...!!!" laments the shirtless (and pants-less, technically) zombie.

Elsewhere, the Last Human-Human on Earth makes an observation:  "What we're wearing reminds me of the prisoners who danced to "Thriller" on YouTube."

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Webcomic #006d: Dracula Sequel?


"There is an 'official' sequel to Brainnn...by a relative of Bram Brainnn...!!!" announces the zombie in an orange nightshirt.

"That is horrible.  Blah.  Just because you have the last name Stoker...  Blah," protests an angry Vampire Lord.

"You're reading the brainnn...right now, aren't you, my Brainnn...???" inquires the clever zombie.

"No, I am not," denies the vampire.  "Do not be silly," he admonishes his servant.  "I am listening to the audiobook."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Webcomic #006c: Is 'Up' a Downer?


"I must advise you of this before we continue the ceremony," the officiating Vampire Lord warns the zombie bride and groom.  "Your marriage will end up like Carl and Ellie from the movie Up.  Blah."

"Spoilers ahead!" warns Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth, in yet another insignificant cameo appearance.  Maybe she'll have more things to say next week.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Webcomic #006b: Aerosmith?



"Did you hear the brainnn...???" asks the zombie bride.  "Steven Brainnn... of Aero-brainnn... has left the brainnn...!!!"

"It seems like he is on course for a yearlong stint at Caesar's Palace:  'Steven Tyler Sings Diane Warren.'  Blah," sardonically replies a priestly Vampire Lord.

"This is my cameo appearance," says Justine the Last Human-Human.  She's really not important for this particular sequence of illustrations.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Webcomic #006a: Zombie Wedding!


"Dearly be-blah.  We are gathered here to-blah.  In the blah-dee-blah.  To join together Blah and Blah. In Unholy Blah," declares the officiating Vampire Lord.  Blah.

Why am I a brides-brainnn...??? wonders a male hospital gown zombie.  More amazing is the fact that this zombie can think quietly!

"Where's your brainn...???" asks the zombie groomsman to the best zombie (in boxer shorts).

"I'm wearing a bow-brainnn...!!!" the best zombie reasons.

"I'm not a fan of these bridesmaid dresses," says the ever-so-sneaky Justine, posing as a zombie bridesmaid in an orange dress.

She's speaking to her talking shotgun, who replies with the obvious:  "ORANGE!"  The shotgun also shoots one of the zombie bridesmaids.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sneak Peek Sunday: Webcomic #006


It's a nice day WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT for a TO HAVE A white wedding ZOMBIE WEDDING!

Comments are closed, but you can reach the author on Twitter:  @DeRamos (please follow!).

Saturday, November 7, 2009

First 25 Words of θəwəməθy (DeRamosh), a #NewLanguage

We're using the Swadesh list to come up with the first 207 words or so in DeRamosh.  Before we start, here are the letters of this new language's alphabet:  ə þ θ w y m.

ə = All vowels are schwas.
þ = Plosives are rarely used (only for curse words); spit.
θ = th sound.
w = w sound.
y = consonant-y sound.
m = m sound.
No hard consonants, like k.

Without further ado, the first 25 (26 words plus two phrases, really):

  1. I = əyə /uh-yuh/
  2. you (singular) = yəə /yuh-uh/
  3. he = yə /yuh/; she = θə /thuh/; it = əθ /uhth/
  4. we = wə /wuh/
  5. you (plural) = yəə θəwə /yuh-uh thuh-wuh/ for two; yəə əww /yuh-uh oh/ for three or more.
  6. they = θəyə /thuh-yuh/
  7. this = yəθ /yuhth/
  8. that = θəθ /thuhth/
  9. here = yəwə /yuh-wuh/
  10. there = θəwə /thuh-wuh/
  11. who = wəyə /wuh-yuh/
  12. what = wəyəθ /wuh-yuhth/
  13. where = wəyəwə /wuh-yuh-wuh/
  14. when = wəyəm /wuh-yuhm/
  15. how = yəw /yoh/
  16. not = məθ /muhth/
  17. all = əww /oh/
  18. many = məməyə /muh-muh-yuh/
  19. some = θəmə /thuh-muh/
  20. few = θəw /thoh/
  21. other = əθəw /uh-thoh/
  22. one = əm /uhm/
  23. two = θəwə /thuh-wuh/
  24. three = θəwəə /thuh-wuh-uh/
  25. four = θəəw /thuh-oh/
Hmm...this linguistic evolution has created new sounds!  Apparently ə + w, when spoken together, makes a long-o sound, as in Oh! and boat.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Webcomic #005e: Boredom


"Boredom is for children," declares our Last Human-Human heroine, wearing a red dress.

"But there's nothing to do!" complains our werewolf-during-the-full-moon hero.  They are in the midst of a bumpin' full moon party.

"There's always something to do!" she says.

"That's what she said," he mockingly adds.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Webcomic #005d: Buyer's Remorse


We are still at the full moon party for werewolves.  That mysterious Golden Voice appears once again, speaking to the assembled party crowd, asking them a question:  "Aap kyaa pinaa chahate hai?"

"Beer!" exclaims a blonde wolf.

"Diet cola!" answers a raven-haired one.

"Apple juice!" a brunette requests.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Webcomic #005c: The Bad Guy's Head Disintegrates. The End.


"We need to do something about the Vampire Lord's army of ghouls," determines Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth.

"I have an idea!" exclaims her werewolf companion.  "I will find a powerful object and imbue myself with its power."

"I don't know..."

"Then I will know what the undead are thinking, so that we can defeat them once and for all!" he posits.

WARNING!  POP CULTURE SPOILERS AHEAD!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Webcomic #005b: Not a Political Party


"The outcome of an upcoming New York election will determine if the far right movement has taken over the Republican Party," hypothesizes a silver-furred female werewolf.

"I thought the Republican Party was already to the far right!" quips a brunette wolf woman.

"Ladies! This is a party-party, not a political party!" protests our werewolf hero.  "We're supposed to party...LIKE A BOSS."  Like the SNL digital short, boss is pronounced "bowse."






A party-crashing zombie shakes his head.  "That's an old brainnn...!!!" he heckles.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Webcomic #005a: Full Moon Party


It's a full moon party tonight!  Werewolves are everywhere!

The night of a full moon reminds me how alone I really am, Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth thinks to herself.  Tonight, all humans turn into werewolves, except me.

"Are you narrating something in your head?" asks her werewolf companion.  It's only his second appearance in this webcomic, so he still lacks a name.  And he should have a cool name (or a devastatingly lame name, which is cool).

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sneak Peek Sunday: Webcomic #005


Every full moon, all humans on Earth (except one) turn into werewolves.  Then they party all night long.  This is their story.