"With the release of Snow Brainnn...and Windows Brainnn..., I am in the market for a new personal brainnn...!!!" declares the zombie wearing boxer shorts. Being a zombie, his main source of information is what the TV says, so he asks out loud: "What does the latest 'I'm a Brainnn...' ad have to brainnn...???"
The zombie imagines his master, the Vampire Lord, as the smug Mac douche and his hunter, Justine the Last Human-Human on Earth, as the dorky PC nerd.
"I am a Mac. Blah," declares the Vampire Lord. He rarely uses contractions when he speaks.
"And I'm a PC," says Justine. "Windows 7 has slightly less problems."
"OS X Snow Leopard has slightly more problems than before," says the Mac vampire.
"Then again, Vista had minimum requirements issues," continues the Windows PC woman.
"Curious about your OS X Guest Account? Well, if you forget to back up your data, do not go there yet. Blah."
Realizing that there are flaws in both of their platforms, the Windows PC wonders, "What if you install Windows 7 on Apple hardware?"
Realizing the not everyone can afford an Apple-branded computer, the Mac suggests, "You can Hackintosh a PC to save money and enter a morally ambiguous geek zone." Being vampire, the Mac likes moral ambiguity.
Suffering from a splitting headache, the zombie exclaims, "Too many brainnn...!!! I might as well buy a typewriter and some postage brainnn...!!!" The zombie's head then splits in two.
Both resigning to the fact that computers are only as good as their users, the Windows PC asks the Mac: "Do you want to be friends?"
"We both shall perpetually ignore Linux. Blah."
In the interest of full disclosure, the author owns shares in both AAPL and MSFT. He also enjoys using various flavors of Linux, on rare occasions.
Comments are closed, but you can reach the author on Twitter: @DeRamos (please follow!).