Thursday, September 3, 2009

Waiting for 2010 #112: The New Two USAs

Dividing the United States into "Red" and "Blue" is wrong. If we separated the Democrats from the Republicans, we'd essentially have two totalitarian states. That does not sit well with me. The United States is about freedom of expression and the democratic process. Therefore, here is my solution, when it comes to ultimately creating two separate US of A's:

The United States of Civil Americans: In this country, we can have intense debate, but we all recognize that the opposing side(s) believe in America as patriotically as those on our side. Furthermore, all proposed plans by one side are countered with strong alternative solutions by the other sides.

The United States of Fearmonger-ers: In this country, everyone shouts at people that don't agree with them, and some even throw their poo across the room to their foes. Logic and civility are not welcome here. Dittoheads and sheeple of all stripes belong here. People who buy into the hype without some sort of research or choose a side due to popularity belong here, too.

Now it's easy to fake your way to the more desirable America (whichever one that is), so there is one placement citizenship placement test. It involves drinking alcohol. Test-takers must drink until they lose their social filter, their super-ego of sorts:

1. If you are pleasant to be with while drunk, then you belong in the US of Civil Americans;

2. If you are not pleasant to be with while drunk, then you are sent to the Fearmonger state. Enjoy the mudslinging.

I will be the judge of what constitutes as "pleasant," by the way. End of (meta-)rant.

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