Waiting for 2010 #37: Attempt to Write Standup Talk Show Monologue Relevant to Web Audience

I haven't seen Conan's, Letterman's, Kimmel's, Fallon's, or Ferguson's recent monologues (and thank goodness, at last check, Carson Daly reformatted his show into a quasi-documentary style and not an attempt at Magic Johnson comedy). So I don't know if any of them touched on the recent news that Apple CEO Steve Jobs received a liver transplant about two months ago.

Upon hearing (reading) the news, I tweeted:

Steve Jobs went to the hospital to upgrade liver. In related news, Michael Dell self-installed an incompatible kidney. #satire

Being a hardware (attempt at a) joke, Michael Dell was the punchline and not Steve Ballmer, Bill Gates, or that damn open source socialist Tux.

This got me thinking that I could try to do more stand-up-type, punchy one-liners:

Steve Jobs got a new liver? Apparently he wants to drink different!

Or this:

With a new liver, there's a drink for just about anything.

Cold beer? There's a drink for that.

Single malt whisky? There's a drink for for that.

Wine to complement roasted lamb? There's a drink for that.

OK, I'm done. Good morning!