I haven't seen Conan's, Letterman's, Kimmel's, Fallon's, or Ferguson's recent monologues (and thank goodness, at last check, Carson Daly reformatted his show into a quasi-documentary style and not an attempt at Magic Johnson comedy). So I don't know if any of them touched on the recent news that Apple CEO Steve Jobs received a liver transplant about two months ago.
Upon hearing (reading) the news, I tweeted:
Steve Jobs went to the hospital to upgrade liver. In related news, Michael Dell self-installed an incompatible kidney. #satireBeing a hardware (attempt at a) joke, Michael Dell was the punchline and not Steve Ballmer, Bill Gates, or that damn open source socialist Tux.
This got me thinking that I could try to do more stand-up-type, punchy one-liners:
Steve Jobs got a new liver? Apparently he wants to drink different!
With a new liver, there's a drink for just about anything.
Cold beer? There's a drink for that.
Single malt whisky? There's a drink for for that.
Wine to complement roasted lamb? There's a drink for that.
OK, I'm done. Good morning!