Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Waiting for 2010 #27: Rebuild the Clippers?

OK, since my last post (about three hours ago), I still want to rant about basketball. So here's a little roadmap to cure the curse of California that is the Los Angeles Clippers:

1. Dump the existing team. Mike Dunleavy can stay as head coach and general manager, unless he (as GM) can get someone better as head coach.

2. Lure Shaquille O'Neal to play his final seasons in LA. Shaq loves LA, and LA loves Shaq, but there is no place in Kobe Bryant's Lakers for Shaq.

3. Convince LeBron James to play with Shaq in the Clippers. The newly demoted Prince James (who lost his Kingship due to poor sportsmanship after losing the Eastern Conference Finals) has an opportunity for both redemption and epic greatness if he can lead the Clippers to his first Championship.

4. Get one or more three-point shooters. When the Magic lose the Finals (okay, if the Magic lose the Finals), one of their sharpshootin' free agents (Hedo Turkoglu, perhaps?) would love to join this new dream team.

5. Leave Staples Center...eventually. I would love to see at least one Western Conference Finals with no road travel between the Clippers and the Lakers. After that, the reborn Clippers can move elsewhere in the Los Angeles metro region. Like the Angels baseball team, the Clippers might be able to get away with being a Los Angeles team of another city.

If Clippers owner Donald Sterling won't listen ('cause he probably won't), I'm pretty sure there are a few relatively recession-proof multibillionaires who are desperately looking for a crazy risk that just might work. Yes, a potential LeBron/Shaq Clippers organization is that crazy risk. If they move just barely into the Inland Empire, the stagnant housing market deeper in the region (i.e., all those empty new tract homes) will find a new turnaround with a championship-caliber professional team in the area. Some desperate (formerly) multimillionaire real estate developers should pool their funds to attract the aforementioned crazy multibillionaires to join in on the plot to buy out Sterling and start this insane process!

Here's to the Los Angeles Clippers of Ontario??? ::boom:: LOST

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