Wednesday, October 8, 2008

John McCain: A GOP Elephant Intentionally Forgets

I have come to terms with the fact that my short-term memory ain't what it used to be. I used to be able to not study for a quiz in school, cram the period beforehand, and then subsequently ace that quiz. Now I find myself wondering what I'm doing in the kitchen, when I don't feel hungry or thirsty. I'm relatively a spring chicken, so it's quite sad, really. On the other hand, we understand when older folks forget things. It's either an understandable senior moment, or an indicator of Alzheimer's - and that kind of thing is serious. But tolerance for senior moments should not be extended to someone who's running for the Presidency.

The whole McCain shtick of ignoring previous statements seems like he's hoping that swing voters have bad short-term memories and/or can't tell the difference between conditional sentences and regular statements. In any case, McCain probably isn't suffering from senior moments (making my first paragraph moot); he's just intentionally spinning the conversation to his favor (arguably unsuccessfully but the attempt is obvious).

Obama: "And if we have Osama bin Laden in our sights and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take them out, then I think that we have to act and we will take them out."

McCain: "In fact, he said he wants to announce that he's going to attack Pakistan. Remarkable."

(Thanks to William Dipini for providing the link to the debate transcript.)

And here's the much-maligned McCain memory mishap:

McCain: "Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process."

McCain (the absolute next sentence): "Now is not the time to fix the blame."

Remarkable. To be fair, in context, McCain was trying to say that the Democrats were fixing the blame. However, fixing the blame on those he accused of fixing the blame is hilariously ironic. It reminds me of that scene in The Office where Michael Scott tells everyone to be serious, then says a double entendre, then says his signature line "That's what she said," then says that there's no time for that sort of nonsense. Is John McCain actually Michael Scott? After all, he wanted to select Dwight Schrute for the VP portion of the ticket:

Tinfoil hat hypothesis: If the GOP ticket consists of an intentional statement forgetter (McCain) and an intentional question ignorer (Palin), I'm thinking the shadowy powers-that-be have created the ultimate "don't f*ckin' vote for these people" ticket alongside the "f*ckin' vote for the well-spoken Obama and the newly gaffe-reduced Biden" ticket to make the "choice" clear. Obviously, since the shadowy powers-that-be dictated such a ticket, no one really wins in this non-democracy, right? If the Republicans win, we're going down the toilet unhappily. If the Democrats win, we're going down the toilet with smiles on our faces. Am I right? Okay, tinfoil hats off.

It's a good thing I don't take my occasional tinfoilhattery seriously.

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