Saturday, September 13, 2008

Stephen Colbert, Modern-day Nostradamus

Antichrist smears for everyone!

John McCain: McCain was the center of the John Mihai/Romanian Antichrist rumor that never really caught on. The problem, of course, is that John Mihai wasn't McCain's great-grandfather, but that John McCain is his own great-grandfather. Not only is McCain old enough to be an ancient Romanian vampire, he is in fact Count Dracula.

Barack Obama: Obama has been described as a secret Muslim extremist, an atheist Marxist, and the new Messiah in opposition to the earlier Messiah, none of which explicitly say Antichrist. Nice try, folks.

Sarah Palin: Stephen Colbert predicted a McCain/Lucifer ticket in 2006. Read into that any way you like. In any case, if last night's dream of mine is correct, then Palin is also the Wolfman. Dracula/Wolfman '08!

Joe Biden: Attempting to heal the sick and make the lame to walk, the Roman Catholic Biden told a paralyzed Chuck Graham to stand up. (If only Graham had enough faith to do so.)

Ryan DeRamos: In a reverse miracle, an anti-miracle, he turned wine into water (and various waste chemicals).

I'm Ryan DeRamos, and I approve this message.

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