Friday, June 27, 2008

Right to Bear Arms (Bad Pun Warning!)

Yesterday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that individuals have the right to bear arms, as guaranteed by the Second Amendment to the Constitution. There are a bunch of qualifiers listed in the majority decision, but here's the gist of it:

1. You have the right to pump iron, mostly French curls, but not exercise any other part of your body (at least not proportionally to all forearms-biceps-triceps training);

2. You have the right to apply hair growth hormone (if such a thing exists) on aforesaid arms and hands; and

3. You have the right to not cut your fingernails, or at least fashion them in a claw-like manner.

In short, you have the right to bear arms. Rawr. Please do not use your new bear arms to threaten one Stephen Colbert, as he is deathly afraid of bears, and possibly bear-related arms.

Bear photo credit: Jean-noël Lafargue.

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