Saturday, January 19, 2008

What Happens in Caucus, Stays in Caucus

"What Happens in Caucus, Stays in Caucus." Okay, maybe not. By all accounts, Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney won their respective parties' Nevada Caucuses. We won't get into South Carolina's Republican Primary, other than wondering if secession was also on the ballot.

Also of note is Ron Paul's second place finish (tied with John McCain?) in the Silver State. By name dropping Ron Paul, I'm obviously trying to regain some of the traffic from the Colbert (Nation) Bump from earlier this week. Anyhow, it's no wonder that several Libertarian-leaning citizens of Nevada - often employed in various occupations often condemned by the rest of the nation - voted for Dr. No.

Whatever happened to Rudy-mania? Exactly.

It seems to me that the sharp Red State / Blue State divide of the previous two presidential elections is potentially in for a change. If the divisiveness of the country continues, then we'll have a roughly three-part nation. It might not be obvious this election, but who knows what the future holds (except for the conspirators who hold the future)? Let me paint a picture (using words, of course) - or rather, a caricature of the three nation divide:

1. Nanny State America, located along the Pacific Coast, the Northeast, and possibly Hawaii. All the basics of life - health care, education, and food - are taken care of by the government. It goes above and beyond Michael Moore's Utopian vision of Norway:

Of course, since all prices are fixed (or can only be modified by an election/government action) then eventually - if simple supply-and-demand economics is correct - things will get screwy. Enter the bread lines and salt mines. Duh-duh-duh-duh.

2. Big Brother America, located somewhere in the Midwest and the Southeast. To paraphrase Martin Niemöller: First they came for those who weren't FOX News Republicans; then they came for [insert scapegoated ethnic group here]; then they came for unionized workers; then they came for those who weren't Evangelicals.

Jingos, fundies, and Wal-Mart associates are for the most part welcome in Big Brother America.

3. Wild Wild West America, located in the deserts, wildernesses, and other badass regions of America. Everyone pretty much leaves everyone else alone, unless there's some kind of competition for a needed resource (like food). In these kinds of situations, there's gonna be a whole lotta crap blowin' up! Yee-haw! And thus shines the beauty of not only the free market, but a heavily armed free market.

Otherwise we can get all these opposing viewpoints to debate and vote in a so-called United States of America, but what fun is that?

Red State / Blue State America image credit: Hoshie.

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